Describe It - Camp Experiences
Learning Objectives:
Level 4.
- Select, develop, and communicate ideas on a range of topics.
- Use a range of language features appropriately, showing an increasing understanding of their effects.
- Organise texts. Using a range of appropriate structures.
- Show an increasing understanding of how to shape texts for different purposes and audiences.
Learning goals:
- To ‘Show, Don’t Tell’ the reader by painting a picture with words.
- A variety of sentence starters
- A variety of sentence lengths
- Edit and rework
- Effective peer checking and feedback
The children's blissful cheers of bravery bounce through the air; enlightening the joyful vibe. The atmospheres splendour shade of azure illuminates an emerald green lake. As though a narcoleptic charm was tipped into the aqua, it sits as motionless as a sleeping lion. A thalassic ravine cuts deep into the earth below the water. Eagerly, the courageous children dive deep into its abyss bracing for a harsh impact with an icy temperature.
A clipping breeze ruffles the many limbs from the surrounding trees. Although they are tall, they aren't as towering as a giraffe. A choir of singing birds attempt many notes as though they are practising the chromatic scale.
By Ayla
Student Reflection:
In my writing, one of my goals is to Organise paragraphs and writing logically and make meaning clear by subheadings, topic sentences and discourse markers.
I did show this goal here because I used an example of a discourse marker describing a noun.
In my writing, one of my goals is to know and write a wide variety of text types and forms.
I did show this goal here because I was able to focus on producing a description and link my editing process with the text type.
My next step is to use a range of editing and proofreading strategies.
Teacher Comment:
Ayla, yet again I am drawn into your writing. The way you purposely select vocab to add impact to your writing is amazing and supports creating an image in the readers mind (my mind). As a next step, you could add some short or one word sentences for impact where appropriate to keep that impact going.- Mrs Hunter |
The writer in you... excels once again :)
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